birth preferences
I count myself lucky that I had the kind of doctor who suggested that we create a "birth plan". My husband and I sat down and did it together (alright, I probably came up with the first draft all on my own). We preferred to call it a "birth preferences doc". That seemed a bit more accurate. I got all nervous about sharing it with my doctor but when we did, she was amazing. She had never done Hypno-anything before but was totally open to it. She took issue with one thing (I don't even remember what it was now) because it was hospital policy and there was nothing to be done. We made that change and gave it to her again at our next appointment. After that, at every appointment, I watched her skim the whole document before she started speaking to us. Later I found out she was trying to remember what language she was supposed to be using. "I knew there were specific words I wasn't supposed to say." LOL.
In the end, at the hospital, the document was of no use. I don't even think we distributed it the first time. The second time it all happened so fast - I remember asking the doula to hand it out but I can't imagine anyone had time to look at it. That said, I was so glad we wrote it. It gave my husband and I the opportunity to really make sure we were on the same page with how we wanted things to happen and it was a great conversation starter between the two of us and our doctor. Additionally, it was a great preparation for the tone we wanted to set with the hospital staff. Finding a way to word it so it didn't sound confrontational or self-righteous was a challenge. We wanted to be clear that were trying to make their lives easier and not trying to tell them how to do their jobs. It's a fine line, which is strange because, seriously, we couldn't do their jobs. We just couldn't. So, in case it's useful to you, here is our birth preferences doc. Names have been changed to protect the obvious.
“Mother: Ginger Lime
Father: Papa Lime
OB: Dr. Awesome
Doula: Jane Doula
BIRTH PREFERENCES
We understand that birth can always go differently than planned and that decisions may need to be made during the process. We would like to be actively involved in all decisions related to Ginger’s labor and birthing and request clear and open communication between us and the hospital staff. Assuming that the birth of our son goes smoothly, we make the following requests:
• Ginger will be using the Hypnobabies method of self-hypnosis for birthing and may not be immediately responsive to questions during contractions. Please wait until the contraction ends and her eyes open to converse with her. Alternatively, you can speak directly with Papa or Jane. Because of the high level of concentration, we request low lights and quiet voices.
• Please do not offer any analgesic medication during labor. Ginger will ask if she needs it.
• We would prefer that, when speaking to Ginger, instead of using the terms “pain” and “contractions,” you use the terms “discomfort” and “pressure waves.” This is in keeping with the Hypnobabies practice.
• Ginger would appreciate a minimum of vaginal exams and does not want to be informed of her progress unless she asks. If Papa or Jane ask, please feel free to tell them privately.
• Ginger requests the use of a heplock so that her IV, if necessary, can be disconnected intermittently when possible.
• Intermittent fetal monitoring is preferred.
• Ginger would like to be out of bed as much as possible during labor, depending on her needs. If labor or delivery seems stalled, we would like the opportunity to use different positions, movement, etc. as opposed to medicinal interventions.
• Ginger would like to push at her own pace.
• Once our baby is born, we would like the cord to stop pulsing before it is clamped or cut. Please offer Papa the opportunity to cut the cord if he wishes.
• As health permits, we would like to have our baby placed on Ginger’s chest for skin to skin contact immediately after birth. If it’s okay with Dr. Awesome, we would like him to remain there for up to an hour before being removed for routine procedures. We hope to start breastfeeding right away if we can.
• Please no pacifiers or formula! Thank you.
”